Saturday, September 27, 2008

Fun times at F.O.B. Patriot :)

Well to describe the last couple days would be much better than reliving them,as I try to be optimistic. I will say time flys when you are keeping busy and we have. The last 72 plus hours have been windy, cold, and wet. It was as if mother nature couldn't quite decide if she wanted to stop raining or not. She would just wait until I thought she was done and I would take off my rain parka and bottoms, then proceed to squat down and piss on me. Oh how I love the out doors. Despite the less than awesome weather conditions we did accomplish some good training and shoot the shit out of some of our weapons, which I spent the better half of today cleaning. It seems for all my efforts that the carbon from my weapons have transferred from said weapons to my hands, which despite my best efforts have not been able to come clean (sad face), if only I was made of iron and steel!

In other observations, I have been out in the field and not secluded by reading and listening to my ipod (again sad face). In doing so I got to spend some quality time with and listen to Private Future Domestic Violator. I have abbreviated him to Pvt.DV. for your reading convenience. So in some of my down time, in the rain, I got to listen to young Pvt.DV tell me how he recently got married to his significant other. Also note worthy, she happens to be younger than him, about 18 or 19 if my memory serves me correctly. Any who, So Pvt.DV tells me, "Fucking women! My old lady keeps pissing me off and I just want to smack her! I told her not to hangout with any guys while I'm gone and I got her mother telling me when she gets home at night so she can't fool me. So I call one of the assholes She was with and tell him if he ever hangs out with her again I'm going kick the shit out of him!" I rationally make a point, that a relationship is about trust and not being insecure. So he needn't worry about her cheating on him and trust her because getting angry like this will only distract him from his mission and drive him mad all year long. I also try to avoid telling him that she will probably be on the wall of shame within month's end but I stay objective when giving advice.

Later that night, in the faint light of days end I see Pvt.DV on the phone. He is yelling and screaming on his cell phone. I ask one of his squad members who he is talking to like that. "Oh, I think he is talking to his old lady" and said Joe carries on with whatever he was doing at the time. Strangely he gets off, shuts the phone and looks up and just smiles like he did something positive. Hmmmmm.......

I remember being younger and a bit insecure and try to understand. In my opinion, not everyone matures as they get older in life and I know I am not naive. I can't help to think to myself that I am still trying to figure out who I am and how someone less rational and mature can commit his or her life to another. Obviously I am assuming that they haven't found their identity too but I think that's rather apparent. I don't know why I am blathering about this but I thought it was interesting all the same. I hope you learn from it and don't beat the crap out of anyone.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

0430 wake ups and going to bed at Oh-dark-thirty

So far everything is going as expected. We already had some privates in our group that got married before they left (bad idea). One of which has had a break down due to the fact that his new wife has already whored it up. Yes, she did the nasty with his one of his friends. Then a couple days later he found out that....."ooops, I did it again". Lessons have been learned, A; once that white dress comes off the innocence fades away. Also, to my surprise only one soldier has broken up with a girlfriend so far, she has had a hard time with him not being around the last 3 weeks. Remind me to have a drink to the Wall of Shame, thank you ladies for your participation.

Mean while.....

We are probably the gayest bunch of guys around the block. Seriously, deployment is going about as well as can be expected and our platoon recently met our P.R.T.(Provincial Reconstruction Team). To give you a little perspective this team is comprised of Air force, Navy, civilians that deal with civil affairs, and us, the muscles. It's a joint operations mission to better the country of Afghanistan. I am enthusiastic about our mission and motivated. Our specific job is to provide security for all the people that we met in our P.R.T. so they can maneuver around the country and do their specific jobs. Well as I was saying.....oh yes, we are pretty shit stupid and gay. So we meet and great and all I can say is that we are the infantry. So the next day the platoon and I doing combatives training and the rest of our PRT is in formation and doing a run. We being the intelligent folks that we start clapping and cheering for them as a way to mock and make fun of them. They all laugh and go by, end of story right?.......No, another ten minutes they come by again and make fun of us. So we, the grunts, go into action. We mobilize! We all leave combatives, form up, and start running behind them and are doing loud cadences behind them, to drown out theirs. So I take it upon myself to sart a new cadence.....Lo and behold I start singing our theme song. Wilson Phillips, "Hold On For One More Day". You know, "Break free of the chains! Blah Blah, blah blah bLah, someones gonna turn around and say goodbye! You got to hold on for one more day!" It goes something to that affect. Long story short, PRT cracks up in laughter, we think we are really clever and they think we are nuts. They probably think we are cute and funny but they don't even realize we are like this all the time.

Later on that day after a late night briefing-

Yet another example:

We are on the bus heading back to the tents. Shakira comes on the bus' radio. You know the one, and we all start singing it. I have to laugh and join in but it still never amazes me how hard core we are and how gay we can act. lol

Also as an update, I am compiling awesome sex stories from around the platoon and will be posting them as I find the time.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Army Times

Well here I am. I'm now about two weeks into the my deployment to Afghanistan and morale is pretty good at the moment. I feel that I am growing as a leader, now that I am in the position where I can grow. I have to say that my focus is great. Once I dealt with the burden of saying goodbye to all my loved ones everything has fell into place. I grow more and more confident as each day passes.

On a lighter note, all of my guys are starting to mesh together. It's funny how we all have some of the most ridiculous sex stories (male bonding) Some of these kids don't even know what I've been through before I met my now significant other or what some of us older guys have been through. Here's a little short one that I found to be hilarious.

Disclaimer: This is not my personal story but someone elses, that is all.

" So I was dating this chick in college and she had a house with three roommates. She was so good at giving head, it was like she invented it or something. We were at here house and all of her roommates where out for the day so we started messing around in the middle of the living room. She got on here knee's and started taking care of me. It was awesome and just as I'm about to blow it, the the front door opens! Her roommate runs back outside and my girl is trying to swallow my load.....bad news....she starts to choke! I thought she was going to die on my sperm! So I take emergency action and start doing the Heimlich maneuver and then I hear a crack.......long story short, she really wasn't choking but I guess it went down the wrong pipe. I had to take her to the hospital because I broke a rib of hers. Needless to say, mine and her days were numbered together after that incident. lol"

This is some of the stupid shit that Army dudes talk about. It is truly amazing.