Swelter of Time

As I tread through a difficult time in my life I look for purpose and meaning, yet I realize that what I’m trying to do is measure myself. It is my belief that men constantly find ways to measure themselves and it is a way to feel strong. We will find way to do it, whether it is by playing sports, hunting, or conquering the next level in a video game. You, somewhere in a moment in your life want to be that man, a man that is looked up to by his peers. For whatever purpose, we want that moment and we want it for our sons to look at and remember us by. So I ask to myself or to you if you are having a dilemma such as mine, what have you done, what are you doing in your life?

I look back on my past and I look at the heartaches. Those, in my short existence make me who I have become. Because, I think experience and the experiences we share are what make us who we are in life. So what I am curious to know is, what have you endured because that’s the story, isn’t it. Have you ever felt a pain so great in your life that you sometimes think about it, and still feel the blood drip from that wound? Have you felt that gut wrenching pain in the depths of your soul and dared to stand again? For whatever reason, I like you have walked again to see what test present itself in my life. Don’t think you go unnoticed because I see you in your turmoil. I see you walking across the street; it’s in your somber eyes and the tone of your step. All the while you think you’re alone, but I know and others do too. No, not all people see it but others that have shared an experience such as yours have. You are stronger for it; I know this because when my path crosses with a lesser person I see through it all. That demeanor you see in that material girl at work or that “friend” that is always their when it’s convenient for them. I don’t know all the answers in life. Hell, I will be lucky to know a fraction of them but what I do know is that knowing yourself and being aware of your surroundings is a step in the right direction. Let me leave you with this.

“I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace”
-Helen Keller

You really can’t say it any better than that.