There he is, driving in his car all by himself watching the days sun set, trying to hold back the overwhelming emotion surging through his body. It’s as if you can’t feel any physical pain because the emotional pain exceeds all. It feels like a giant bolder in his throat as he drives by the rest of the world on the freeway. He’s been preparing for this the whole year and yet saying good bye is the hardest thing to come. In all honesty, he would much rather chose a bullet than watch his mother and father cry as they wish him far well. Or for that matter, see his closest friends draw tears for him as he walks away, with only hopes of seeing them again or their children for the first time. But if that isn’t enough, there is that ever looming feeling that he didn’t kiss that one special girl one last time before he departs. AH!!!!!!!!!!!!! All these things run through his mind before he embarks on a festive occasion, to see the team he loves to watch the most in the world………..watching the Chicago White Sox kicking ass on his last day at home. He thinks about all these things as he drives himself to the game.
How does one express all these things? For so long this young adult has felt these things and whom to tell it to? Watching your family and friends cry and to take on this heart ache is unbearable, let alone, dealing with one’s own fears and inner turmoil.
One more day to go………………
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
One Guy to Another
Disclaimer: This is totally a fictional story………I did acquire some ideas from personal experience and being around. Also, you might not enjoy this unless you truly know the author.
This is a short story of a young adult coming to learn a few lessons in a game called life. His story starts off right after high school and there after going into military service. Paul Kirkpatrick had two goals in his life. One to make a life for him and two, make a life for his love. He was recklessly in love with a high school sweat heart and she felt the same for him.
Throughout his military service he was called into battle. Months after his enlistment he went to another country with young comrades that shared aspirations similar to his and that is were he met a good friend, Pvt. Anthonys. These two became inseparable and eventually they arrived home that's when the three of them became the best of friends together and that is where this little story begins.
About a year to the date, after young Pvt. Kirkpatrick came home, his high school sweet heart and him had a falling out. For whatever reasons of growing apart and having been away for so long they just couldn't live together anymore. They split and Kirkpatrick remained friends with Anthonys and Anthonys remained friends with the girl.
A few years past, then it came to be that Anthonys told Kirkpatrick that he had an affair with the girl and she took his virginity. Anthonys never meant to hurt his friend and Kirkpatrick knew this at heart. He loved his friend just as much as he once loved the girl. So he forgave his friend. To this day his friend always remained truthful to his friend and told him whenever she contacts the other. Anthonys always felt compelled to ask him if he should. Strangely, Kirkpatrick always said, "its fine, she's married to some other guy though I don't know if she will?" To this Anthonys laughed and always did have a way with her. It continues till today and though he never feels malice toward his friend he always feels disrespected to a girl that once professed her love to him. Occasionally he sees his old love in town, with her husband, yet there is no anger in his heart. He feels in the depths of his soul…….pity…… for the man that loves her undyingly, as he watches his good friend do this to a guy he hardly knows. But it is not his place to interfere with someone else's life. Maybe there is a day when her husband asks for what has been stolen from him, that being the truth and maybe adult Kirkpatrick will give him his restitution. When that day passes there might be a sequel.
This is a short story of a young adult coming to learn a few lessons in a game called life. His story starts off right after high school and there after going into military service. Paul Kirkpatrick had two goals in his life. One to make a life for him and two, make a life for his love. He was recklessly in love with a high school sweat heart and she felt the same for him.
Throughout his military service he was called into battle. Months after his enlistment he went to another country with young comrades that shared aspirations similar to his and that is were he met a good friend, Pvt. Anthonys. These two became inseparable and eventually they arrived home that's when the three of them became the best of friends together and that is where this little story begins.
About a year to the date, after young Pvt. Kirkpatrick came home, his high school sweet heart and him had a falling out. For whatever reasons of growing apart and having been away for so long they just couldn't live together anymore. They split and Kirkpatrick remained friends with Anthonys and Anthonys remained friends with the girl.
A few years past, then it came to be that Anthonys told Kirkpatrick that he had an affair with the girl and she took his virginity. Anthonys never meant to hurt his friend and Kirkpatrick knew this at heart. He loved his friend just as much as he once loved the girl. So he forgave his friend. To this day his friend always remained truthful to his friend and told him whenever she contacts the other. Anthonys always felt compelled to ask him if he should. Strangely, Kirkpatrick always said, "its fine, she's married to some other guy though I don't know if she will?" To this Anthonys laughed and always did have a way with her. It continues till today and though he never feels malice toward his friend he always feels disrespected to a girl that once professed her love to him. Occasionally he sees his old love in town, with her husband, yet there is no anger in his heart. He feels in the depths of his soul…….pity…… for the man that loves her undyingly, as he watches his good friend do this to a guy he hardly knows. But it is not his place to interfere with someone else's life. Maybe there is a day when her husband asks for what has been stolen from him, that being the truth and maybe adult Kirkpatrick will give him his restitution. When that day passes there might be a sequel.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Too Much Info
1. What was I doing ten years ago?
Let’s see, well that would put me at 13 yrs old and I was probably up to no good with my trio, as I like to call them. Jon, Alberto, and I were always finding new ways to get in trouble and find porn. I was playing basketball and trying to do as little as possible in school without getting in too much trouble.
2. What are 5 things on my to do list for the day?
I. I want to watch some fireworks tonight.
II. I will attempt to convince my friends to go to the baseball game instead of down town to watch fireworks.
III. Have a great time after work tonight and not think about the future.
IV. Workout before my drinking starts.
V. Make out with a new girl tonight.
3. Snacks I enjoy?
I do love beef jerky, fresh fruit, and those Harvest Chips (cheddar).
4. Things that I would do If I were a billionaire?
I would square away my family and friends so that they could be as care free as me. Secondly, have one hell of a party, like buy a club and have all my friends party there and get a kick ass band. So many things really…….I would just take it one day at a time.
5. Three of my bad habits?
I’m a bit of man whore……yeah.
I can be a little forward with people.
I am a total push over.
6. Five Places that I have lived?
Midlothian, IL
Ft. Stewart, GA
Baqubah, Iraq
Ft. Bliss, TX
Kabul, Afghanistan (will arriving there soon)
7. Five Jobs that I have had? and the ages I had them...
McDonalds, I was 15 and that lasted about 3 months.
K-Mart, I was 16
Army, I enlisted when I was 17 and am still going strong.
Infotrack, I did criminal background checks, 20-22
Vanella, Criminal backgrounds but for more money 23-to present.
8. How did you name your blog?
Well it was nickname (Butters) when I was 18 in Iraq and these are my stories that never end. Pretty self explanatory if you ask me.
Let’s see, well that would put me at 13 yrs old and I was probably up to no good with my trio, as I like to call them. Jon, Alberto, and I were always finding new ways to get in trouble and find porn. I was playing basketball and trying to do as little as possible in school without getting in too much trouble.
2. What are 5 things on my to do list for the day?
I. I want to watch some fireworks tonight.
II. I will attempt to convince my friends to go to the baseball game instead of down town to watch fireworks.
III. Have a great time after work tonight and not think about the future.
IV. Workout before my drinking starts.
V. Make out with a new girl tonight.
3. Snacks I enjoy?
I do love beef jerky, fresh fruit, and those Harvest Chips (cheddar).
4. Things that I would do If I were a billionaire?
I would square away my family and friends so that they could be as care free as me. Secondly, have one hell of a party, like buy a club and have all my friends party there and get a kick ass band. So many things really…….I would just take it one day at a time.
5. Three of my bad habits?
I’m a bit of man whore……yeah.
I can be a little forward with people.
I am a total push over.
6. Five Places that I have lived?
Midlothian, IL
Ft. Stewart, GA
Baqubah, Iraq
Ft. Bliss, TX
Kabul, Afghanistan (will arriving there soon)
7. Five Jobs that I have had? and the ages I had them...
McDonalds, I was 15 and that lasted about 3 months.
K-Mart, I was 16
Army, I enlisted when I was 17 and am still going strong.
Infotrack, I did criminal background checks, 20-22
Vanella, Criminal backgrounds but for more money 23-to present.
8. How did you name your blog?
Well it was nickname (Butters) when I was 18 in Iraq and these are my stories that never end. Pretty self explanatory if you ask me.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Im Back Jack!
So after a long month at Ft. Chaffee Chris is back! I have to tell you that training sucked but all together I found it to be really useful. Going into this mobilization I had zero faith in many of my counter parts. Now, walking away from it all I have a lot of faith in them as well as my capabilities of being a leader. Not to mention I now have some new bonds forming with guys that I really trust and will have my back when it really matters most. I recently read one of those yahoo bulletins the other day and it was something to the affect that soldiers are three times more likely to die in Afghanistan than in Iraq. Of course I didn’t bother to read it, but now that time is changing sides and now battling me I feel the stresses of what possibilities there are. I’m not usually of a pessimistic nature but there are a lot of ‘what if’s’……..Much to think about in a relatively short time.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Our Adventure!
Well on my quest for adventure, that is before my departure to Afghanistan, Dave, Jon, and I have all decieded to go on a little adventure to Starve Rock. That might not seem that adventurous to anyone else but for us it is a 83 mile trek there and another 83 miles back all done in one weekend. We have from now till the third weekend in July to prep and get in riding shape for this little venture. I am pretty psyched for this get away. It is something to take my mind off of the stressess of leaving and it is a honest goal that I feel we all will learn from. It is a little intimidating, but hey once we are out there we will have eachother to grab onto for support if our bodies give way or our minds tell us not to. We will have one another to push and carry us if need be. Oh and this is the new bike I'm going to pick up for the trip. :)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
June 9th 2003
This is an old journal entry and I thought some people, who know me, might get a kick out of it.
Well it's almost time for me to leave again, off to Ft. Bliss (kill myself), TX. As of today I'm still crazy about and in love with Michelle. At the moment this sux (yes, I spelled words like this in high school) because she is on vacation. I really see myself marrying this girl someday(WOW!). Honestly. Well I hope I don't look back on this and kick myself for writting this one day (yup). Well Michelle is six days late on her period which is pretty scarry. I guess whatever happens happens, this should all be interesting. I suppose whatever happens will only make me stronger in the end.
Mean while my friendship with Jon seems to be fadding off. I can't ever hangout with him unless it Niki is working or I hangout with the both of them. That is really starting to erk me. She's got him on such a fucking invisible leash it's not even funny (there is a sketch of this in my journal).
Besides the fact that I'm going to miss Michelle and my Mom like crazy when I'm gon. I'm NNot really leaving much behind. In the school area I'm thinking of switching my major to Criminal Justice. I only can wonder what my mom will say though. Well all I can say/write now is hope for better times. Later.
Secrets to Never tell:
I like K-Pak
Finding Nemo was a good movie too
Jon is still in the closet (LOL)
I wish I could afford A&F, then wear it.
I like the Army.....I really do.
Presently this is my defense for all the above mentioned.
A; How was I ever suppose to know that Michelle was a whore when she was only 17?
B; Niki, sorry, but sometimes you (and me too) can act like a bitch.
C; Jon, You are still pussy whiped but it isn't as bad as it was back in the day.
D; The secrets..............well I was kid. That is all.
Well it's almost time for me to leave again, off to Ft. Bliss (kill myself), TX. As of today I'm still crazy about and in love with Michelle. At the moment this sux (yes, I spelled words like this in high school) because she is on vacation. I really see myself marrying this girl someday(WOW!). Honestly. Well I hope I don't look back on this and kick myself for writting this one day (yup). Well Michelle is six days late on her period which is pretty scarry. I guess whatever happens happens, this should all be interesting. I suppose whatever happens will only make me stronger in the end.
Mean while my friendship with Jon seems to be fadding off. I can't ever hangout with him unless it Niki is working or I hangout with the both of them. That is really starting to erk me. She's got him on such a fucking invisible leash it's not even funny (there is a sketch of this in my journal).
Besides the fact that I'm going to miss Michelle and my Mom like crazy when I'm gon. I'm NNot really leaving much behind. In the school area I'm thinking of switching my major to Criminal Justice. I only can wonder what my mom will say though. Well all I can say/write now is hope for better times. Later.
Secrets to Never tell:
I like K-Pak
Finding Nemo was a good movie too
Jon is still in the closet (LOL)
I wish I could afford A&F, then wear it.
I like the Army.....I really do.
Presently this is my defense for all the above mentioned.
A; How was I ever suppose to know that Michelle was a whore when she was only 17?
B; Niki, sorry, but sometimes you (and me too) can act like a bitch.
C; Jon, You are still pussy whiped but it isn't as bad as it was back in the day.
D; The secrets..............well I was kid. That is all.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Stolen: TMI
1. Is there a TV show you HAVE to watch? If so, what is it? I don't watch much T.V. but when I catch it on there is no changing of the channel. Smallville is my vice and it never ceases to amaze me! I want to bone you Lana!
2. What is you favorite drink if you are going to drink more than one? Coffee in the morning, Guinness for Lunch, and Guinness Extra Stout for dinner.
3. How long do you carry guilt around with you? I am extremely gifted when it comes to keeping things to myself. Not to mention I am a secretive person to begin with. Eventually it will come out but it might take months or even years.
4. Where is or would be your number one romantic get away spot? Well I've had one bad experience with this place but I think the second time around it will be better. My place of choice would be the Bahamas.
5. Have you ever seen a counselor? I have done some psychology projects,where I would be counseled by people who are going to be advancing in that career field. Other than that, no, not by a professional counselor.
2. What is you favorite drink if you are going to drink more than one? Coffee in the morning, Guinness for Lunch, and Guinness Extra Stout for dinner.
3. How long do you carry guilt around with you? I am extremely gifted when it comes to keeping things to myself. Not to mention I am a secretive person to begin with. Eventually it will come out but it might take months or even years.
4. Where is or would be your number one romantic get away spot? Well I've had one bad experience with this place but I think the second time around it will be better. My place of choice would be the Bahamas.
5. Have you ever seen a counselor? I have done some psychology projects,where I would be counseled by people who are going to be advancing in that career field. Other than that, no, not by a professional counselor.
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