Our Adventure!

Well on my quest for adventure, that is before my departure to Afghanistan, Dave, Jon, and I have all decieded to go on a little adventure to Starve Rock. That might not seem that adventurous to anyone else but for us it is a 83 mile trek there and another 83 miles back all done in one weekend. We have from now till the third weekend in July to prep and get in riding shape for this little venture. I am pretty psyched for this get away. It is something to take my mind off of the stressess of leaving and it is a honest goal that I feel we all will learn from. It is a little intimidating, but hey once we are out there we will have eachother to grab onto for support if our bodies give way or our minds tell us not to. We will have one another to push and carry us if need be. Oh and this is the new bike I'm going to pick up for the trip. :)

June 9th 2003

This is an old journal entry and I thought some people, who know me, might get a kick out of it.



Well it's almost time for me to leave again, off to Ft. Bliss (kill myself), TX. As of today I'm still crazy about and in love with Michelle. At the moment this sux (yes, I spelled words like this in high school) because she is on vacation. I really see myself marrying this girl someday(WOW!). Honestly. Well I hope I don't look back on this and kick myself for writting this one day (yup). Well Michelle is six days late on her period which is pretty scarry. I guess whatever happens happens, this should all be interesting. I suppose whatever happens will only make me stronger in the end.
Mean while my friendship with Jon seems to be fadding off. I can't ever hangout with him unless it Niki is working or I hangout with the both of them. That is really starting to erk me. She's got him on such a fucking invisible leash it's not even funny (there is a sketch of this in my journal).
Besides the fact that I'm going to miss Michelle and my Mom like crazy when I'm gon. I'm NNot really leaving much behind. In the school area I'm thinking of switching my major to Criminal Justice. I only can wonder what my mom will say though. Well all I can say/write now is hope for better times. Later.

Secrets to Never tell:
I like K-Pak
Finding Nemo was a good movie too
Jon is still in the closet (LOL)
I wish I could afford A&F, then wear it.
I like the Army.....I really do.

Presently this is my defense for all the above mentioned.

A; How was I ever suppose to know that Michelle was a whore when she was only 17?
B; Niki, sorry, but sometimes you (and me too) can act like a bitch.
C; Jon, You are still pussy whiped but it isn't as bad as it was back in the day.
D; The secrets..............well I was kid. That is all.

Stolen: TMI

1. Is there a TV show you HAVE to watch? If so, what is it? I don't watch much T.V. but when I catch it on there is no changing of the channel. Smallville is my vice and it never ceases to amaze me! I want to bone you Lana!

2. What is you favorite drink if you are going to drink more than one? Coffee in the morning, Guinness for Lunch, and Guinness Extra Stout for dinner.

3. How long do you carry guilt around with you? I am extremely gifted when it comes to keeping things to myself. Not to mention I am a secretive person to begin with. Eventually it will come out but it might take months or even years.

4. Where is or would be your number one romantic get away spot? Well I've had one bad experience with this place but I think the second time around it will be better. My place of choice would be the Bahamas.

5. Have you ever seen a counselor? I have done some psychology projects,where I would be counseled by people who are going to be advancing in that career field. Other than that, no, not by a professional counselor.

Swelter of Time

As I tread through a difficult time in my life I look for purpose and meaning, yet I realize that what I’m trying to do is measure myself. It is my belief that men constantly find ways to measure themselves and it is a way to feel strong. We will find way to do it, whether it is by playing sports, hunting, or conquering the next level in a video game. You, somewhere in a moment in your life want to be that man, a man that is looked up to by his peers. For whatever purpose, we want that moment and we want it for our sons to look at and remember us by. So I ask to myself or to you if you are having a dilemma such as mine, what have you done, what are you doing in your life?

I look back on my past and I look at the heartaches. Those, in my short existence make me who I have become. Because, I think experience and the experiences we share are what make us who we are in life. So what I am curious to know is, what have you endured because that’s the story, isn’t it. Have you ever felt a pain so great in your life that you sometimes think about it, and still feel the blood drip from that wound? Have you felt that gut wrenching pain in the depths of your soul and dared to stand again? For whatever reason, I like you have walked again to see what test present itself in my life. Don’t think you go unnoticed because I see you in your turmoil. I see you walking across the street; it’s in your somber eyes and the tone of your step. All the while you think you’re alone, but I know and others do too. No, not all people see it but others that have shared an experience such as yours have. You are stronger for it; I know this because when my path crosses with a lesser person I see through it all. That demeanor you see in that material girl at work or that “friend” that is always their when it’s convenient for them. I don’t know all the answers in life. Hell, I will be lucky to know a fraction of them but what I do know is that knowing yourself and being aware of your surroundings is a step in the right direction. Let me leave you with this.

“I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace”
-Helen Keller

You really can’t say it any better than that.