Well to describe the last couple days would be much better than reliving them,as I try to be optimistic. I will say time flys when you are keeping busy and we have. The last 72 plus hours have been windy, cold, and wet. It was as if mother nature couldn't quite decide if she wanted to stop raining or not. She would just wait until I thought she was done and I would take off my rain parka and bottoms, then proceed to squat down and piss on me. Oh how I love the out doors. Despite the less than awesome weather conditions we did accomplish some good training and shoot the shit out of some of our weapons, which I spent the better half of today cleaning. It seems for all my efforts that the carbon from my weapons have transferred from said weapons to my hands, which despite my best efforts have not been able to come clean (sad face), if only I was made of iron and steel!
In other observations, I have been out in the field and not secluded by reading and listening to my ipod (again sad face). In doing so I got to spend some quality time with and listen to Private Future Domestic Violator. I have abbreviated him to Pvt.DV. for your reading convenience. So in some of my down time, in the rain, I got to listen to young Pvt.DV tell me how he recently got married to his significant other. Also note worthy, she happens to be younger than him, about 18 or 19 if my memory serves me correctly. Any who, So Pvt.DV tells me, "Fucking women! My old lady keeps pissing me off and I just want to smack her! I told her not to hangout with any guys while I'm gone and I got her mother telling me when she gets home at night so she can't fool me. So I call one of the assholes She was with and tell him if he ever hangs out with her again I'm going kick the shit out of him!" I rationally make a point, that a relationship is about trust and not being insecure. So he needn't worry about her cheating on him and trust her because getting angry like this will only distract him from his mission and drive him mad all year long. I also try to avoid telling him that she will probably be on the wall of shame within month's end but I stay objective when giving advice.
Later that night, in the faint light of days end I see Pvt.DV on the phone. He is yelling and screaming on his cell phone. I ask one of his squad members who he is talking to like that. "Oh, I think he is talking to his old lady" and said Joe carries on with whatever he was doing at the time. Strangely he gets off, shuts the phone and looks up and just smiles like he did something positive. Hmmmmm.......
I remember being younger and a bit insecure and try to understand. In my opinion, not everyone matures as they get older in life and I know I am not naive. I can't help to think to myself that I am still trying to figure out who I am and how someone less rational and mature can commit his or her life to another. Obviously I am assuming that they haven't found their identity too but I think that's rather apparent. I don't know why I am blathering about this but I thought it was interesting all the same. I hope you learn from it and don't beat the crap out of anyone.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
0430 wake ups and going to bed at Oh-dark-thirty
So far everything is going as expected. We already had some privates in our group that got married before they left (bad idea). One of which has had a break down due to the fact that his new wife has already whored it up. Yes, she did the nasty with his one of his friends. Then a couple days later he found out that....."ooops, I did it again". Lessons have been learned, A; once that white dress comes off the innocence fades away. Also, to my surprise only one soldier has broken up with a girlfriend so far, she has had a hard time with him not being around the last 3 weeks. Remind me to have a drink to the Wall of Shame, thank you ladies for your participation.
Mean while.....
We are probably the gayest bunch of guys around the block. Seriously, deployment is going about as well as can be expected and our platoon recently met our P.R.T.(Provincial Reconstruction Team). To give you a little perspective this team is comprised of Air force, Navy, civilians that deal with civil affairs, and us, the muscles. It's a joint operations mission to better the country of Afghanistan. I am enthusiastic about our mission and motivated. Our specific job is to provide security for all the people that we met in our P.R.T. so they can maneuver around the country and do their specific jobs. Well as I was saying.....oh yes, we are pretty shit stupid and gay. So we meet and great and all I can say is that we are the infantry. So the next day the platoon and I doing combatives training and the rest of our PRT is in formation and doing a run. We being the intelligent folks that we start clapping and cheering for them as a way to mock and make fun of them. They all laugh and go by, end of story right?.......No, another ten minutes they come by again and make fun of us. So we, the grunts, go into action. We mobilize! We all leave combatives, form up, and start running behind them and are doing loud cadences behind them, to drown out theirs. So I take it upon myself to sart a new cadence.....Lo and behold I start singing our theme song. Wilson Phillips, "Hold On For One More Day". You know, "Break free of the chains! Blah Blah, blah blah bLah, someones gonna turn around and say goodbye! You got to hold on for one more day!" It goes something to that affect. Long story short, PRT cracks up in laughter, we think we are really clever and they think we are nuts. They probably think we are cute and funny but they don't even realize we are like this all the time.
Later on that day after a late night briefing-
Yet another example:
We are on the bus heading back to the tents. Shakira comes on the bus' radio. You know the one, and we all start singing it. I have to laugh and join in but it still never amazes me how hard core we are and how gay we can act. lol
Also as an update, I am compiling awesome sex stories from around the platoon and will be posting them as I find the time.
Mean while.....
We are probably the gayest bunch of guys around the block. Seriously, deployment is going about as well as can be expected and our platoon recently met our P.R.T.(Provincial Reconstruction Team). To give you a little perspective this team is comprised of Air force, Navy, civilians that deal with civil affairs, and us, the muscles. It's a joint operations mission to better the country of Afghanistan. I am enthusiastic about our mission and motivated. Our specific job is to provide security for all the people that we met in our P.R.T. so they can maneuver around the country and do their specific jobs. Well as I was saying.....oh yes, we are pretty shit stupid and gay. So we meet and great and all I can say is that we are the infantry. So the next day the platoon and I doing combatives training and the rest of our PRT is in formation and doing a run. We being the intelligent folks that we start clapping and cheering for them as a way to mock and make fun of them. They all laugh and go by, end of story right?.......No, another ten minutes they come by again and make fun of us. So we, the grunts, go into action. We mobilize! We all leave combatives, form up, and start running behind them and are doing loud cadences behind them, to drown out theirs. So I take it upon myself to sart a new cadence.....Lo and behold I start singing our theme song. Wilson Phillips, "Hold On For One More Day". You know, "Break free of the chains! Blah Blah, blah blah bLah, someones gonna turn around and say goodbye! You got to hold on for one more day!" It goes something to that affect. Long story short, PRT cracks up in laughter, we think we are really clever and they think we are nuts. They probably think we are cute and funny but they don't even realize we are like this all the time.
Later on that day after a late night briefing-
Yet another example:
We are on the bus heading back to the tents. Shakira comes on the bus' radio. You know the one, and we all start singing it. I have to laugh and join in but it still never amazes me how hard core we are and how gay we can act. lol
Also as an update, I am compiling awesome sex stories from around the platoon and will be posting them as I find the time.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Army Times
Well here I am. I'm now about two weeks into the my deployment to Afghanistan and morale is pretty good at the moment. I feel that I am growing as a leader, now that I am in the position where I can grow. I have to say that my focus is great. Once I dealt with the burden of saying goodbye to all my loved ones everything has fell into place. I grow more and more confident as each day passes.
On a lighter note, all of my guys are starting to mesh together. It's funny how we all have some of the most ridiculous sex stories (male bonding)....lol. Some of these kids don't even know what I've been through before I met my now significant other or what some of us older guys have been through. Here's a little short one that I found to be hilarious.
Disclaimer: This is not my personal story but someone elses, that is all.
" So I was dating this chick in college and she had a house with three roommates. She was so good at giving head, it was like she invented it or something. We were at here house and all of her roommates where out for the day so we started messing around in the middle of the living room. She got on here knee's and started taking care of me. It was awesome and just as I'm about to blow it, the the front door opens! Her roommate runs back outside and my girl is trying to swallow my load.....bad news....she starts to choke! I thought she was going to die on my sperm! So I take emergency action and start doing the Heimlich maneuver and then I hear a crack.......long story short, she really wasn't choking but I guess it went down the wrong pipe. I had to take her to the hospital because I broke a rib of hers. Needless to say, mine and her days were numbered together after that incident. lol"
This is some of the stupid shit that Army dudes talk about. It is truly amazing.
On a lighter note, all of my guys are starting to mesh together. It's funny how we all have some of the most ridiculous sex stories (male bonding)....lol. Some of these kids don't even know what I've been through before I met my now significant other or what some of us older guys have been through. Here's a little short one that I found to be hilarious.
Disclaimer: This is not my personal story but someone elses, that is all.
" So I was dating this chick in college and she had a house with three roommates. She was so good at giving head, it was like she invented it or something. We were at here house and all of her roommates where out for the day so we started messing around in the middle of the living room. She got on here knee's and started taking care of me. It was awesome and just as I'm about to blow it, the the front door opens! Her roommate runs back outside and my girl is trying to swallow my load.....bad news....she starts to choke! I thought she was going to die on my sperm! So I take emergency action and start doing the Heimlich maneuver and then I hear a crack.......long story short, she really wasn't choking but I guess it went down the wrong pipe. I had to take her to the hospital because I broke a rib of hers. Needless to say, mine and her days were numbered together after that incident. lol"
This is some of the stupid shit that Army dudes talk about. It is truly amazing.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
1:44AM, Tomale, A tear, & a glass of milk
There he is, driving in his car all by himself watching the days sun set, trying to hold back the overwhelming emotion surging through his body. It’s as if you can’t feel any physical pain because the emotional pain exceeds all. It feels like a giant bolder in his throat as he drives by the rest of the world on the freeway. He’s been preparing for this the whole year and yet saying good bye is the hardest thing to come. In all honesty, he would much rather chose a bullet than watch his mother and father cry as they wish him far well. Or for that matter, see his closest friends draw tears for him as he walks away, with only hopes of seeing them again or their children for the first time. But if that isn’t enough, there is that ever looming feeling that he didn’t kiss that one special girl one last time before he departs. AH!!!!!!!!!!!!! All these things run through his mind before he embarks on a festive occasion, to see the team he loves to watch the most in the world………..watching the Chicago White Sox kicking ass on his last day at home. He thinks about all these things as he drives himself to the game.
How does one express all these things? For so long this young adult has felt these things and whom to tell it to? Watching your family and friends cry and to take on this heart ache is unbearable, let alone, dealing with one’s own fears and inner turmoil.
One more day to go………………
How does one express all these things? For so long this young adult has felt these things and whom to tell it to? Watching your family and friends cry and to take on this heart ache is unbearable, let alone, dealing with one’s own fears and inner turmoil.
One more day to go………………
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
One Guy to Another
Disclaimer: This is totally a fictional story………I did acquire some ideas from personal experience and being around. Also, you might not enjoy this unless you truly know the author.
This is a short story of a young adult coming to learn a few lessons in a game called life. His story starts off right after high school and there after going into military service. Paul Kirkpatrick had two goals in his life. One to make a life for him and two, make a life for his love. He was recklessly in love with a high school sweat heart and she felt the same for him.
Throughout his military service he was called into battle. Months after his enlistment he went to another country with young comrades that shared aspirations similar to his and that is were he met a good friend, Pvt. Anthonys. These two became inseparable and eventually they arrived home that's when the three of them became the best of friends together and that is where this little story begins.
About a year to the date, after young Pvt. Kirkpatrick came home, his high school sweet heart and him had a falling out. For whatever reasons of growing apart and having been away for so long they just couldn't live together anymore. They split and Kirkpatrick remained friends with Anthonys and Anthonys remained friends with the girl.
A few years past, then it came to be that Anthonys told Kirkpatrick that he had an affair with the girl and she took his virginity. Anthonys never meant to hurt his friend and Kirkpatrick knew this at heart. He loved his friend just as much as he once loved the girl. So he forgave his friend. To this day his friend always remained truthful to his friend and told him whenever she contacts the other. Anthonys always felt compelled to ask him if he should. Strangely, Kirkpatrick always said, "its fine, she's married to some other guy though I don't know if she will?" To this Anthonys laughed and always did have a way with her. It continues till today and though he never feels malice toward his friend he always feels disrespected to a girl that once professed her love to him. Occasionally he sees his old love in town, with her husband, yet there is no anger in his heart. He feels in the depths of his soul…….pity…… for the man that loves her undyingly, as he watches his good friend do this to a guy he hardly knows. But it is not his place to interfere with someone else's life. Maybe there is a day when her husband asks for what has been stolen from him, that being the truth and maybe adult Kirkpatrick will give him his restitution. When that day passes there might be a sequel.
This is a short story of a young adult coming to learn a few lessons in a game called life. His story starts off right after high school and there after going into military service. Paul Kirkpatrick had two goals in his life. One to make a life for him and two, make a life for his love. He was recklessly in love with a high school sweat heart and she felt the same for him.
Throughout his military service he was called into battle. Months after his enlistment he went to another country with young comrades that shared aspirations similar to his and that is were he met a good friend, Pvt. Anthonys. These two became inseparable and eventually they arrived home that's when the three of them became the best of friends together and that is where this little story begins.
About a year to the date, after young Pvt. Kirkpatrick came home, his high school sweet heart and him had a falling out. For whatever reasons of growing apart and having been away for so long they just couldn't live together anymore. They split and Kirkpatrick remained friends with Anthonys and Anthonys remained friends with the girl.
A few years past, then it came to be that Anthonys told Kirkpatrick that he had an affair with the girl and she took his virginity. Anthonys never meant to hurt his friend and Kirkpatrick knew this at heart. He loved his friend just as much as he once loved the girl. So he forgave his friend. To this day his friend always remained truthful to his friend and told him whenever she contacts the other. Anthonys always felt compelled to ask him if he should. Strangely, Kirkpatrick always said, "its fine, she's married to some other guy though I don't know if she will?" To this Anthonys laughed and always did have a way with her. It continues till today and though he never feels malice toward his friend he always feels disrespected to a girl that once professed her love to him. Occasionally he sees his old love in town, with her husband, yet there is no anger in his heart. He feels in the depths of his soul…….pity…… for the man that loves her undyingly, as he watches his good friend do this to a guy he hardly knows. But it is not his place to interfere with someone else's life. Maybe there is a day when her husband asks for what has been stolen from him, that being the truth and maybe adult Kirkpatrick will give him his restitution. When that day passes there might be a sequel.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Too Much Info
1. What was I doing ten years ago?
Let’s see, well that would put me at 13 yrs old and I was probably up to no good with my trio, as I like to call them. Jon, Alberto, and I were always finding new ways to get in trouble and find porn. I was playing basketball and trying to do as little as possible in school without getting in too much trouble.
2. What are 5 things on my to do list for the day?
I. I want to watch some fireworks tonight.
II. I will attempt to convince my friends to go to the baseball game instead of down town to watch fireworks.
III. Have a great time after work tonight and not think about the future.
IV. Workout before my drinking starts.
V. Make out with a new girl tonight.
3. Snacks I enjoy?
I do love beef jerky, fresh fruit, and those Harvest Chips (cheddar).
4. Things that I would do If I were a billionaire?
I would square away my family and friends so that they could be as care free as me. Secondly, have one hell of a party, like buy a club and have all my friends party there and get a kick ass band. So many things really…….I would just take it one day at a time.
5. Three of my bad habits?
I’m a bit of man whore……yeah.
I can be a little forward with people.
I am a total push over.
6. Five Places that I have lived?
Midlothian, IL
Ft. Stewart, GA
Baqubah, Iraq
Ft. Bliss, TX
Kabul, Afghanistan (will arriving there soon)
7. Five Jobs that I have had? and the ages I had them...
McDonalds, I was 15 and that lasted about 3 months.
K-Mart, I was 16
Army, I enlisted when I was 17 and am still going strong.
Infotrack, I did criminal background checks, 20-22
Vanella, Criminal backgrounds but for more money 23-to present.
8. How did you name your blog?
Well it was nickname (Butters) when I was 18 in Iraq and these are my stories that never end. Pretty self explanatory if you ask me.
Let’s see, well that would put me at 13 yrs old and I was probably up to no good with my trio, as I like to call them. Jon, Alberto, and I were always finding new ways to get in trouble and find porn. I was playing basketball and trying to do as little as possible in school without getting in too much trouble.
2. What are 5 things on my to do list for the day?
I. I want to watch some fireworks tonight.
II. I will attempt to convince my friends to go to the baseball game instead of down town to watch fireworks.
III. Have a great time after work tonight and not think about the future.
IV. Workout before my drinking starts.
V. Make out with a new girl tonight.
3. Snacks I enjoy?
I do love beef jerky, fresh fruit, and those Harvest Chips (cheddar).
4. Things that I would do If I were a billionaire?
I would square away my family and friends so that they could be as care free as me. Secondly, have one hell of a party, like buy a club and have all my friends party there and get a kick ass band. So many things really…….I would just take it one day at a time.
5. Three of my bad habits?
I’m a bit of man whore……yeah.
I can be a little forward with people.
I am a total push over.
6. Five Places that I have lived?
Midlothian, IL
Ft. Stewart, GA
Baqubah, Iraq
Ft. Bliss, TX
Kabul, Afghanistan (will arriving there soon)
7. Five Jobs that I have had? and the ages I had them...
McDonalds, I was 15 and that lasted about 3 months.
K-Mart, I was 16
Army, I enlisted when I was 17 and am still going strong.
Infotrack, I did criminal background checks, 20-22
Vanella, Criminal backgrounds but for more money 23-to present.
8. How did you name your blog?
Well it was nickname (Butters) when I was 18 in Iraq and these are my stories that never end. Pretty self explanatory if you ask me.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Im Back Jack!
So after a long month at Ft. Chaffee Chris is back! I have to tell you that training sucked but all together I found it to be really useful. Going into this mobilization I had zero faith in many of my counter parts. Now, walking away from it all I have a lot of faith in them as well as my capabilities of being a leader. Not to mention I now have some new bonds forming with guys that I really trust and will have my back when it really matters most. I recently read one of those yahoo bulletins the other day and it was something to the affect that soldiers are three times more likely to die in Afghanistan than in Iraq. Of course I didn’t bother to read it, but now that time is changing sides and now battling me I feel the stresses of what possibilities there are. I’m not usually of a pessimistic nature but there are a lot of ‘what if’s’……..Much to think about in a relatively short time.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Our Adventure!
Well on my quest for adventure, that is before my departure to Afghanistan, Dave, Jon, and I have all decieded to go on a little adventure to Starve Rock. That might not seem that adventurous to anyone else but for us it is a 83 mile trek there and another 83 miles back all done in one weekend. We have from now till the third weekend in July to prep and get in riding shape for this little venture. I am pretty psyched for this get away. It is something to take my mind off of the stressess of leaving and it is a honest goal that I feel we all will learn from. It is a little intimidating, but hey once we are out there we will have eachother to grab onto for support if our bodies give way or our minds tell us not to. We will have one another to push and carry us if need be. Oh and this is the new bike I'm going to pick up for the trip. :)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
June 9th 2003
This is an old journal entry and I thought some people, who know me, might get a kick out of it.
Well it's almost time for me to leave again, off to Ft. Bliss (kill myself), TX. As of today I'm still crazy about and in love with Michelle. At the moment this sux (yes, I spelled words like this in high school) because she is on vacation. I really see myself marrying this girl someday(WOW!). Honestly. Well I hope I don't look back on this and kick myself for writting this one day (yup). Well Michelle is six days late on her period which is pretty scarry. I guess whatever happens happens, this should all be interesting. I suppose whatever happens will only make me stronger in the end.
Mean while my friendship with Jon seems to be fadding off. I can't ever hangout with him unless it Niki is working or I hangout with the both of them. That is really starting to erk me. She's got him on such a fucking invisible leash it's not even funny (there is a sketch of this in my journal).
Besides the fact that I'm going to miss Michelle and my Mom like crazy when I'm gon. I'm NNot really leaving much behind. In the school area I'm thinking of switching my major to Criminal Justice. I only can wonder what my mom will say though. Well all I can say/write now is hope for better times. Later.
Secrets to Never tell:
I like K-Pak
Finding Nemo was a good movie too
Jon is still in the closet (LOL)
I wish I could afford A&F, then wear it.
I like the Army.....I really do.
Presently this is my defense for all the above mentioned.
A; How was I ever suppose to know that Michelle was a whore when she was only 17?
B; Niki, sorry, but sometimes you (and me too) can act like a bitch.
C; Jon, You are still pussy whiped but it isn't as bad as it was back in the day.
D; The secrets..............well I was kid. That is all.
Well it's almost time for me to leave again, off to Ft. Bliss (kill myself), TX. As of today I'm still crazy about and in love with Michelle. At the moment this sux (yes, I spelled words like this in high school) because she is on vacation. I really see myself marrying this girl someday(WOW!). Honestly. Well I hope I don't look back on this and kick myself for writting this one day (yup). Well Michelle is six days late on her period which is pretty scarry. I guess whatever happens happens, this should all be interesting. I suppose whatever happens will only make me stronger in the end.
Mean while my friendship with Jon seems to be fadding off. I can't ever hangout with him unless it Niki is working or I hangout with the both of them. That is really starting to erk me. She's got him on such a fucking invisible leash it's not even funny (there is a sketch of this in my journal).
Besides the fact that I'm going to miss Michelle and my Mom like crazy when I'm gon. I'm NNot really leaving much behind. In the school area I'm thinking of switching my major to Criminal Justice. I only can wonder what my mom will say though. Well all I can say/write now is hope for better times. Later.
Secrets to Never tell:
I like K-Pak
Finding Nemo was a good movie too
Jon is still in the closet (LOL)
I wish I could afford A&F, then wear it.
I like the Army.....I really do.
Presently this is my defense for all the above mentioned.
A; How was I ever suppose to know that Michelle was a whore when she was only 17?
B; Niki, sorry, but sometimes you (and me too) can act like a bitch.
C; Jon, You are still pussy whiped but it isn't as bad as it was back in the day.
D; The secrets..............well I was kid. That is all.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Stolen: TMI
1. Is there a TV show you HAVE to watch? If so, what is it? I don't watch much T.V. but when I catch it on there is no changing of the channel. Smallville is my vice and it never ceases to amaze me! I want to bone you Lana!
2. What is you favorite drink if you are going to drink more than one? Coffee in the morning, Guinness for Lunch, and Guinness Extra Stout for dinner.
3. How long do you carry guilt around with you? I am extremely gifted when it comes to keeping things to myself. Not to mention I am a secretive person to begin with. Eventually it will come out but it might take months or even years.
4. Where is or would be your number one romantic get away spot? Well I've had one bad experience with this place but I think the second time around it will be better. My place of choice would be the Bahamas.
5. Have you ever seen a counselor? I have done some psychology projects,where I would be counseled by people who are going to be advancing in that career field. Other than that, no, not by a professional counselor.
2. What is you favorite drink if you are going to drink more than one? Coffee in the morning, Guinness for Lunch, and Guinness Extra Stout for dinner.
3. How long do you carry guilt around with you? I am extremely gifted when it comes to keeping things to myself. Not to mention I am a secretive person to begin with. Eventually it will come out but it might take months or even years.
4. Where is or would be your number one romantic get away spot? Well I've had one bad experience with this place but I think the second time around it will be better. My place of choice would be the Bahamas.
5. Have you ever seen a counselor? I have done some psychology projects,where I would be counseled by people who are going to be advancing in that career field. Other than that, no, not by a professional counselor.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Swelter of Time
As I tread through a difficult time in my life I look for purpose and meaning, yet I realize that what I’m trying to do is measure myself. It is my belief that men constantly find ways to measure themselves and it is a way to feel strong. We will find way to do it, whether it is by playing sports, hunting, or conquering the next level in a video game. You, somewhere in a moment in your life want to be that man, a man that is looked up to by his peers. For whatever purpose, we want that moment and we want it for our sons to look at and remember us by. So I ask to myself or to you if you are having a dilemma such as mine, what have you done, what are you doing in your life?
I look back on my past and I look at the heartaches. Those, in my short existence make me who I have become. Because, I think experience and the experiences we share are what make us who we are in life. So what I am curious to know is, what have you endured because that’s the story, isn’t it. Have you ever felt a pain so great in your life that you sometimes think about it, and still feel the blood drip from that wound? Have you felt that gut wrenching pain in the depths of your soul and dared to stand again? For whatever reason, I like you have walked again to see what test present itself in my life. Don’t think you go unnoticed because I see you in your turmoil. I see you walking across the street; it’s in your somber eyes and the tone of your step. All the while you think you’re alone, but I know and others do too. No, not all people see it but others that have shared an experience such as yours have. You are stronger for it; I know this because when my path crosses with a lesser person I see through it all. That demeanor you see in that material girl at work or that “friend” that is always their when it’s convenient for them. I don’t know all the answers in life. Hell, I will be lucky to know a fraction of them but what I do know is that knowing yourself and being aware of your surroundings is a step in the right direction. Let me leave you with this.
“I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace”
-Helen Keller
You really can’t say it any better than that.
I look back on my past and I look at the heartaches. Those, in my short existence make me who I have become. Because, I think experience and the experiences we share are what make us who we are in life. So what I am curious to know is, what have you endured because that’s the story, isn’t it. Have you ever felt a pain so great in your life that you sometimes think about it, and still feel the blood drip from that wound? Have you felt that gut wrenching pain in the depths of your soul and dared to stand again? For whatever reason, I like you have walked again to see what test present itself in my life. Don’t think you go unnoticed because I see you in your turmoil. I see you walking across the street; it’s in your somber eyes and the tone of your step. All the while you think you’re alone, but I know and others do too. No, not all people see it but others that have shared an experience such as yours have. You are stronger for it; I know this because when my path crosses with a lesser person I see through it all. That demeanor you see in that material girl at work or that “friend” that is always their when it’s convenient for them. I don’t know all the answers in life. Hell, I will be lucky to know a fraction of them but what I do know is that knowing yourself and being aware of your surroundings is a step in the right direction. Let me leave you with this.
“I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace”
-Helen Keller
You really can’t say it any better than that.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Amazing Billiards in Super Slow Motion. Vote Ron Paul 2008
I love pool! You'll enjoy this if you like the game.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
a Romanian philosopher
"What a man knows only through feeling can be explained only through enthusiasm."
-E.M. Cioran
Enthusiasm is the essence right now. That is how I can sum up my attitude and out look on life. My relationship, romantically speaking, is very positive. The closeness that I have with my family and, more specifically, my cousin is key to my current position on life. Things aren't perfect and I don't expect them to be. Life is never easy and what fun would it be if it were? The pool team is struggling but growing. I credit that aspect of my life to complementing my leadership abilities and learning life skills. I find more and more that I can learn from people around me, that aren't experts on anything, in comparison to experts or professionals. I never block out good advice but I can't help to be enthusiastic about the future. I know there are many tests and obstacles in my path but I say, 'bring it asshole and controller of life'. Also, I would like to say, "Mr. Pool God, if you could not fuck with my pool game anymore than it already is, I would appreciate it……..that is all. Oh and your awesome, amen." I don't really have a message to send out here but I am encouraged and looking for more no matter what the test.
-Paul Kilpatrick
-E.M. Cioran
Enthusiasm is the essence right now. That is how I can sum up my attitude and out look on life. My relationship, romantically speaking, is very positive. The closeness that I have with my family and, more specifically, my cousin is key to my current position on life. Things aren't perfect and I don't expect them to be. Life is never easy and what fun would it be if it were? The pool team is struggling but growing. I credit that aspect of my life to complementing my leadership abilities and learning life skills. I find more and more that I can learn from people around me, that aren't experts on anything, in comparison to experts or professionals. I never block out good advice but I can't help to be enthusiastic about the future. I know there are many tests and obstacles in my path but I say, 'bring it asshole and controller of life'. Also, I would like to say, "Mr. Pool God, if you could not fuck with my pool game anymore than it already is, I would appreciate it……..that is all. Oh and your awesome, amen." I don't really have a message to send out here but I am encouraged and looking for more no matter what the test.
-Paul Kilpatrick
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
True Romance
I know you have heard it before and I can promise you will hear it again. When I do say it, know that it's true, it's because it's true; I love you. It's incredible the way you feel and the ability you have to make me feel better even under the worst of circumstances. I can't even say that with as much enthusiasm as I wish to mean. God! Girl I love you and when were together we may not be the best, but we are something that no one else can be…..en masse.
But before I go any further let me fully articulate what it is that makes you, you. It could be a plethora of things but it starts from the balance of your essence. To your core, you are stable from top to bottom. You are smooth even to the touch. I can't help to have you in my hands even when we're out among others. The way you feel when your in my hands and the sensation I get when your sliding in and out of my fingers is……indescribable! It makes me want to be with you even when it's not appropriate. I love the game of pool and my pool stick more than anything else. What did you think I was talking about?
One thing I learned while playing the game of pool is that you always respect your opponent and you know their true potential. That's precisely what I did tonight. To set the setting a little better, my friend and I decided to leave our former pool team after a very successful season and post season. We even won the playoff championship. Why you might ask? Because, we don't care about winning nearly as much as we want and strive to be better players and play to the best of our abilities.
Tonight my best friend and I truly played our cards right and followed the rules. We studied them and played our old team the way we wanted to. It was the South Side Hit Men vs. Nice Rack. The Outcome: 4 games to 1, over last season's playoff champions. No, I don't mean to boast and I agree that there was a lot of luck in it but the fact remains. We overcame a team that was more experienced, more talented, and on and off paper, just flat out better. I plan to execute every week in the same manner and as a team and plan out new ways to make our team better. My captain and I might be over zealous here but we definitely made a statement……..'We are for real. Take us for who we are and we will give you a fight. We are truly a Nice Rack.' –Team name. (I know it's a bad pun but hey work with it for me)
Paul Kilpatrick
But before I go any further let me fully articulate what it is that makes you, you. It could be a plethora of things but it starts from the balance of your essence. To your core, you are stable from top to bottom. You are smooth even to the touch. I can't help to have you in my hands even when we're out among others. The way you feel when your in my hands and the sensation I get when your sliding in and out of my fingers is……indescribable! It makes me want to be with you even when it's not appropriate. I love the game of pool and my pool stick more than anything else. What did you think I was talking about?
One thing I learned while playing the game of pool is that you always respect your opponent and you know their true potential. That's precisely what I did tonight. To set the setting a little better, my friend and I decided to leave our former pool team after a very successful season and post season. We even won the playoff championship. Why you might ask? Because, we don't care about winning nearly as much as we want and strive to be better players and play to the best of our abilities.
Tonight my best friend and I truly played our cards right and followed the rules. We studied them and played our old team the way we wanted to. It was the South Side Hit Men vs. Nice Rack. The Outcome: 4 games to 1, over last season's playoff champions. No, I don't mean to boast and I agree that there was a lot of luck in it but the fact remains. We overcame a team that was more experienced, more talented, and on and off paper, just flat out better. I plan to execute every week in the same manner and as a team and plan out new ways to make our team better. My captain and I might be over zealous here but we definitely made a statement……..'We are for real. Take us for who we are and we will give you a fight. We are truly a Nice Rack.' –Team name. (I know it's a bad pun but hey work with it for me)
Paul Kilpatrick
Saturday, January 26, 2008
sheeee-Ras!
An apology is order for the light hearted. I never intend to be callous to people but I’m not of a particularly sensitive nature. I might even be described as brash and I take no offense to that either. As it were, I am sorry to those individuals that haven’t been hearing from me lately. The truth of the matter is that I am a busy person and I have been dealing with a lot of stress from different aspects of my life. I am expecting to go on a deployment this year. And well I do hope everyone comes to my going away party and I probably, in a drunken haze, will tell you I love you (don’t take this to heart). The truth of the matter is that many of you will tell me that, ‘I will write you everyday! And send you care packages with booze! Just make sure you give me my address.’ I am no profit but I know I will give you my address and I probably won’t hear from you for at least a year. Oh don’t be fooled, I’m not looking for sympathy here, no…no….I just lived through this experience once. But I will tell you what will happen here.
- Some time in 2009
(Random “friend”)Hey Chris! I haven’t seen you in a minute! How have you been?
I got back home from deployment (Afghanistan) last month. Oh wow! How that’s nuts, how was that? It was hot and then winter came and I experienced winter and what it’s like to live in the Central Asian version of Colorado…..
As I already know who my true friends in life are I will be polite and have fun with those of you who I probably won’t talk with again, or for a while. So here it is; SORRY! Truth be told, I won’t even be angry with you. No, I honestly care about you as much as, when you say, “I wish you didn’t have to go”. That is no insult, it’s just honesty. As I have already apologized to many of you, I would like you to know that I have a mentality of a famous artist.
“A sweet lie does not compare to the beautiful truth in life…”
-I’ll buy you a beer if someone can tell me who said that and from what book.
Well that’s the way the cookie crumbles and I hope I will have more time to blog…..hasta.
- Some time in 2009
(Random “friend”)Hey Chris! I haven’t seen you in a minute! How have you been?
I got back home from deployment (Afghanistan) last month. Oh wow! How that’s nuts, how was that? It was hot and then winter came and I experienced winter and what it’s like to live in the Central Asian version of Colorado…..
As I already know who my true friends in life are I will be polite and have fun with those of you who I probably won’t talk with again, or for a while. So here it is; SORRY! Truth be told, I won’t even be angry with you. No, I honestly care about you as much as, when you say, “I wish you didn’t have to go”. That is no insult, it’s just honesty. As I have already apologized to many of you, I would like you to know that I have a mentality of a famous artist.
“A sweet lie does not compare to the beautiful truth in life…”
-I’ll buy you a beer if someone can tell me who said that and from what book.
Well that’s the way the cookie crumbles and I hope I will have more time to blog…..hasta.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
One of my better ones- im moving away from Myspace
So I thought about a few things today while driving home on what was a hazy and bitter winter day. It was just one of those bleak days that had some sort of half ice and half rain coming down from the sky. As it were, I realize that a great chapter in my life is coming to an end. The chapter that is Jon and Chris' National Guard Times is embarking on its last few months. I won't lie, it is sad but we all are moving in our own directions in life but I'm grateful for all those good times we've had together. It seems like just yesterday, which was in 2002, that we both enlisted and it was Pvt. Mireles and Pvt. Abeyta. Wow! That was a long time ago. Six years have come and past but I still won't forget those long conversations about the most random things in life. We had to find shit to talk about in order to kill all those boring times as we were stuck at drill and doing absolutely nothing. I know this is all too sentimental but I will miss driving with my battle buddy and finding ways to get out of work together. I think in loving memory of his time in the Guard I will put a picture of him in my car seat and every time I have to drive to drill by myself I will think of him. All right that is just fucking Gay! "Why can't we just say we love each other? It sounds so fucking beautiful." (Quote from Super Bad) As this time is coming to an end another chapter starts. I don't know exactly how it is written but I kind of hope that it goes something like this.
-Sometime in the Spring of 2009
A cell phone rings in the in the Mireles Household. Niki answers the phone and it is Christopher calling from Afghanistan. "Hey darling! We both miss you and Jon says hi. How are you?" " I'm good, you know how it is. The same old stuff just a different day" replies Chris, with a touch of melancholy in his voice. Niki continues, "Well me and Jon have some exciting news for you." "Really, what would that be?" as Chris responds as he so desperately wants to hear news from home. "Well I will give you the bad news first. I have decided to take a short break from drinking. The good news is that we want to know if you would be the Godfather to our son we are expecting in the next seven months!" said Niki. "Get the fuck out of here! Seriously? Of course and it would be an honor" said Chris ever so enthusiastically. "Well you shall be the Godfather to Vincent Michael Mireles once this little guy makes it out of my belly so I can have a damn drink! Fuck this is going to be a rough couple of months." Both of them laugh and giggle over the exciting news.
Okay, I know this is totally fictional but if this next chapter pans out something along those lines I shall be the most elated guy on deployment. I don't even now if those two are ready for kids but I'll tell you this. If my two best friends ever had a little guy it would be make me the happiest person in the world. If I got to help raise the most loved child to walk the planet earth I would be the happiest guy ever. Ok I'm going to go watch some football or something to wash this sentimental crap out of my head.
-Sometime in the Spring of 2009
A cell phone rings in the in the Mireles Household. Niki answers the phone and it is Christopher calling from Afghanistan. "Hey darling! We both miss you and Jon says hi. How are you?" " I'm good, you know how it is. The same old stuff just a different day" replies Chris, with a touch of melancholy in his voice. Niki continues, "Well me and Jon have some exciting news for you." "Really, what would that be?" as Chris responds as he so desperately wants to hear news from home. "Well I will give you the bad news first. I have decided to take a short break from drinking. The good news is that we want to know if you would be the Godfather to our son we are expecting in the next seven months!" said Niki. "Get the fuck out of here! Seriously? Of course and it would be an honor" said Chris ever so enthusiastically. "Well you shall be the Godfather to Vincent Michael Mireles once this little guy makes it out of my belly so I can have a damn drink! Fuck this is going to be a rough couple of months." Both of them laugh and giggle over the exciting news.
Okay, I know this is totally fictional but if this next chapter pans out something along those lines I shall be the most elated guy on deployment. I don't even now if those two are ready for kids but I'll tell you this. If my two best friends ever had a little guy it would be make me the happiest person in the world. If I got to help raise the most loved child to walk the planet earth I would be the happiest guy ever. Ok I'm going to go watch some football or something to wash this sentimental crap out of my head.
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